I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
