I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
another moral hangover. fuck.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
