READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
