Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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