Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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