also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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