No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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