My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
he just fucked me for my cheese.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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