she looked like the before picture.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
