Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
