Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
