You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
