Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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