I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
