I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
