So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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