We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Never let your siblings swipe right.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
