I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
