I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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