Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Houston, we have a squirter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize