If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
