Ambien. No doubt about it.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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