i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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