Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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