This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
