I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
