So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
