I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize