I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
