Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
this boner is exhausting
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
