just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
