I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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