The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
