So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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