she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
