This girl is more easily done than said...
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
