Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
