It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
