Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Randomize
