The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
