I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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