There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
