that's an acceptable place to lick
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
