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One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
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