I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I wish I only lived at night.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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