Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
