whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
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