yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
