Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
