Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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