I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
