HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
