I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
We're hate flirting, damnit.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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