its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
