you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
