Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
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No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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