Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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